Earlier this evening, Christa and I discussed the not-as-recent-as-previously-thought internet shenanigans of writer/director/Bear Jew Eli Roth. Basically, the story goes: Eli Roth was Twittering, somebody made a joke about blueberries, and things got a little freaky from there. I won't go into the details, I'll let you seek those on your own, but I will say this: I'm disappointed I didn't find Bear Crazy Sex Jew on Twitter until after this thing went down. I love you Eli.
To see commentary, Eli's statement, and a jizz tissue, click here.
Oh, but don't bother checking his official Twitter for dirty tweets (dweets?), they've long since been deleted. Er, at least that's what I've been told.
Anyway, on to the bad news.
On tonight's show, I expressed my unbridled giddy-ness about the NBA season officially kicking off Tuesday night. The marquee matchup takes place at 7:30pm Pacific time, when the NBA champion lakers* begin their title defense against my revamped Los Angeles Clippers squad. Folks, I have some sad news. Not just for Clippers fans, but for fans of basketball in general and all citizens of the earth.
The number one pick in this year's NBA draft, former college player of the year at Oklahoma, and current Clippers forward Blake "Muthafuckin" Griffin suffered a stress fracture to his left patella and will miss the next month and a half of the season.
The season starts tomorrow. This was diagnosed tonight. Awh, Lawd.
Was Blake Griffin doomed the moment David Stern called his name and put a Clippers cap on his head at the NBA Draft this June? Probably. Is this God's way of telling me that I was a terrible person in a past life and He has made me into a Clippers fan as a way to torture me for a lifetime? I'm beginning to think so.
I'm devastated, so I think I'm gonna go cry now. And study for a midterm. But mostly cry...and then think of Eli Roth's blueberries, and then cheer up a bit. You understand.
-JJ
* Since I was a small child I have refused to capitalize the name of this team, and until I get paid for writing about them, it will remain this way.
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